Memorial Service

A month ago I found out that my church member Michael Hing’s mum was suffering from colon cancer, the same one that took my late dad’s life in 1998.

Two days ago I was informed she was taken home to be with the Lord.

Tonight 13 of us from Canaanland Celebration attended her Memorial Service at Tiong Hua Funeral Parlour.

Mrs Hing gave her life to the Lord during her last days on earth. She attended a meeting in KL prior to being hospitalized. No one would have guessed that a strong person like her would not be on this earth anymore. And therefore a couple of her relatives, possibly her sisters were seen crying tonight. That’s understandable. I could still remember how happy she was with her friends during Michael and Shirley’s wedding banquet at Royal China Restaurant on 28 February 2009.

But that is life, or should I say death. We usually cannot predict when the time for us to leave this earth.

That is why I constantly have to remind myself. With mum still around and despite the fact that we usually have a clash of point of views, I would try my best not to speak my mind so that I would not make life unbearable for her. Afterall she is not young anymore and I do not want her heart to ache cos of me.

Tonight as I drove home from the funeral parlour, I was thinking of doing something simple to make her happy. I stopped by Khidmat Supermarket and bought ten sticks of Tropical Sling - lime flavour on the outside with vanilla ice-cream on the inside. This is one of mum’s favourite things in life.

When I came home and showed her, I can see a smile on her face. Ah … I felt contented.

So do treasure those that you love and make them happy eventhough they may make your life the reverse.

Time Waits for No One

… and in this case me.

I had known a friend through work for over ten years and she retired last year. During all that time, she always told me she had migraine. I have the same thing but not as bad as hers. We had only seen each other once but we chatted a lot on the phone. Sometimes friendship does not have to happen face to face but to take time in caring for the other person.

One year when I was mass sms sending mother’s day greetings to some of my close friends, I accidentally included her as well. After that, I had to send her another one to apologise because she did not have any children.

After she stopped work, I found out she had cancer through other people. She never told me, maybe to spare me from being sad. Sometimes I would still call her up. Whenever I wanted to have a meal with her, she would decline.

Once again during Mother’s Day this year, I thought of her. Maybe because of the blooper I made few years ago. I meant to call her two months ago but did not get to do it.

Last month I thought of her again and even a fortnight ago I thought of her but did not call her.

Today when I was talking to her ex colleague, I almost forgot to enquire about her again. And when I remembered, I thought I heard wrongly her ex colleague’s reply. She said she had passed away a fortnight ago.

After putting down the phone, I was in shock. And I feel sad because I did not get to say goodbye or pay the last respect.

My heart is aching :(

Remembrance

Just wanna remember someone who was dear to me this day.

I read the following somewhere to this effect.

‘When you came to this world, you were crying while everyone else around you is laughing. But when you leave this world, everyone else around you will be crying while you will be laughing’. (I think the laughing bit at the end would not be true to most people)

Have you ever thought about the day you are going to leave this world?

I do not mean to sound morbid but since there is life, there is also death. Each of us has to face it sooner or later.

I used to be very attached to things that are precious to me. They may be expensive or they may not be. Once I lost something that was of very sentimental value to me, I practically sulked for months and wished that I had not been so careless.

But I do not know when was the exact time that I found myself not to be attached to things anymore. For eg. at the end of the first quarter of this year, I dropped one of my favourite pair of earrings. I did not feel sad at all. I could let go just like that.

For we brought nothing into this world, and we can take nothing out of it. (1 Tim. 6:7)

Do you have possessions or people you would not able to let go but when the time comes, you would not have any choice but to let go?

I had also told my family in the event something happens to me and I cease to exist anymore, I want cremation rather than burial. Have you thought about this?

RIP King of Pop and Farrah Fawcett

This morning when one of my colleagues based at the project site arrived at the office, he told me that MJ had passed away.

Then during lunchtime, I also found out that Farrah Fawcett had also passed away after battling with cancer.

Of course the King of Pop is more famous that Farrah Fawcett. Farrah was one of the angels in the show ‘Charlie’s Angels’ during the 1970’s.

When the office boy came back from his errands around 5p.m., he asked me whether the news about MJ was true or false. So I told him ‘oh, rumours only.’

As he was about to leave the office to go home, he said he wanted to cry.

Would I shed tears for all these people? Of course not.

Meeting Former Boss

Last night I received a call from Mimi Quek telling me that tonight some church members will go to Tiong Hua Funeral Parlour at 8p.m.

Dennis Tan and his wife Lilian are in my usher team in Canaanland Celebration. Dennis’s mum had gone home to be with the Lord at the age of 93 two days ago.

So tonight I drove to the funeral parlour. After I parked the car, I was thinking of changing parking bays but when I tried to reverse, the car seemed to go forward. The drain was a feet away. (Looks like my driving still sucks big time)

I gave up and went inside the funeral parlour. Among the people who had arrived were Sharon Lai, Fung Yin Leung, Mr. & Mrs. Vitus Tan and Mr. Quek Lip Kie. A short while after that Mr. & Mrs. Chew Chong Bin came.

While chit-chatting with Lilian, Shelley Chew and Mr. Quek, I saw someone signing the register book and from behind he looked like my former boss, Horace Ho. Sharon confirmed that it was him and said that he attends William Wong’s cg.

When a group of people came, we decided to go outside and sit. Mr. Ho also came out and so I asked Lilian about him. She does not know him.

We shook hand and talked. When they were young, he and Dennis used to learn judo together in Sandakan. Dennis was surpised we knew each other and how small the world really is.

We went back inside, stood around a circle, sang a song and Elder Fung said a prayer before we left.

Thank God for Sharon for reversing the car for me.

Memorial Service for EL

I woke up quite late this morning and was only 5 mins early in arriving at church for the Memorial Service.

The thing that stood out the most about EL was that she never complained about anything in her life and these last two years when she was sick, she never complained once. She hid her pain to herself. What a great testimony she gave through her life.

Her funeral service was conducted by Rev. Aster Soong as Rev. Lee Tak Vui is on leave. The MC was Alice Thien while Sophia Tsen played the piano.

EL’s three favourites songs were Still, Complete and Blessed Assurance which we sang.

Still

Verse 1

Hide me now under Your wings

Cover me within your mighty hands

Chorus

When the oceans rise and thunders roar

I will soar with you above the storm

Father You are King over the flood

I will be still and know You are God

Verse 2

Find rest my soul, in Christ alone

Know His pow’r, in quietness and trust

Complete

Here I am oh God

I bring this sacrifice

My open heart

I offer up my life

I look to You Lord

Your love that never ends

Restores me again

So, I lift my eyes to You Lord

In Your strength will I break through Lord

Touch me now, let Your love fall down on me

I know Your love dispels all my fears

Through the storm I will hold on Lord

And by faith I will walk on Lord

Then I’ll see beyond my calvary one day

And I will be complete in You

Blessed Assurance

Blessed assurance Jesus is mine

O what a foretaste of glory divine

Heir of salvation, purchase of God,

Born of His Spirit, washed in His Blood.

Chorus

This is my story, this is my song,

Praising my sa – vior all the day long

This is my story, this is my song,

Praising my Savior all the day long

Verse 2

Perfect submission, all is at rest

I in my Savior am happy and blest

Watching and waiting, looking above

Filled with His goodness, lost in His love

Verse 3

Perfect submission, perfect delight

Vision of rapture now burst on my sight,

Angels descending bring from above

Echoes of mercy, whisper of love

Her younger aunt shared about EL’s life. Her brother CKM came back from Sydney two days ago when he heard that his sister had pneumonia. Doria Tai who is one of our church members shared of two memories she remembered very distinctly when she heard of EL’s demise. Firstly, was that EL had a beautiful wedding dress for a beautiful bride. Secondly, was when she her first son was born. Finally EL’s husband GL shared about her faith, love, hope, perseverance, etc.

Indeed EL had fought the good fight of faith, she had finished the race, she had kept the faith. Now there is in store for her the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to her on that day ... (2 Timothy 4:7)

At the end before the cortege proceeded for burial, Paul Liew, Dr. Roland and Dr. Cecilia Chia, and I had a chance to talk to CKM for a while.

Demise of a Friend

EL and I belonged to the alumni of Overseas Christian Fellowship (OCF) (Australia). She studied in Macquarie University but our path did not cross until a couple of years ago eventhough we attend the same church.

I know her husband GL and her brother CKM better than her.

When I first joined Basel Church, I played badminton with her husband GL. GL has a great sense of humour, the happy go lucky type of guy. He was in OCF Melbourne.

As for her brother CKM (he was in OCF Adelaide), before I even touched down in Sabah back from Down Under, I heard of him from our OCF Australia advisor Ps. Merrilyn Teague. She specifically told me to pass a written message she sent by snail mail from Adelaide to Wollongong to give to CKM. When I arrived back in KK, I called CKM and passed him the message. Only later we got to meet each other since we were attending the same church.

On 25 June 2007 both EL and GL with a few other friends were invited to have potbless dinner at Dr. Peter Ong’s house. We had a great time and EL shared her testimony. In spite of all the sufferings she had gone through, she still chose to praise and thank God for everything. I think that speaks a lot about her relationship with God. I do not know if I could do that if I was in her shoes.

After all these times of sufferings, EL was called home to the Lord at 2.45a.m. on 6 December 2008. Her memorial service will be at BCCM KK on 8 December at 9a.m. She left behind her husband GL and two children.

Yesterday Sophie Choo called me and told me when she comes to KK next week, she will prepare the type of outfit to wear to a funeral. When I heard that, there was a voice telling me ‘EL will not be around by then.’ I did not share with Sophie what I heard because this is not the kind of thing one shares with others.

(Another time when someone close was going to have a miscarriage, a voice told me at 3a.m. on the same day before it happened).

In Loving Memory of Kinnie Loo Pit Lin

This morning I was debating in my mind whether to apply leave tomorrow to attend Kinnie Liew’s (nee Loo) funeral.

At 8.21a.m I received a sms from Sharon Lai informing me that there will be wake service for Kinnie at Tiong Hua Funeral Parlour tonight at 7.45p.m.

I did not have to debate anymore. Instead of attending the funeral service, I decided to attend the wake service.

The two rooms were half full when I arrived. After shaking hand with Johnny Liew and his son Shawn, I chose a seat at a far corner so that latecomers can fill in the seats nearer to the door.

SIB Skyline led the wake service. Ps. Dr. Philip Lyn gave the message. He has known Johnny and Kinnie for more than 21 years, when he and his wife Nancy first arrived in Kota Kinabalu. Johnny was the one who designed his medical clinic in Luyang.

The three words which Ps. Philip used to describe Kinnie are as follows.

1. Sensitive – not that she was a sensitive person but she was one who was sensitive to the needs of others above her own.

2. Strong – even in the midst of suffering, she had remained strong and trusted in the Lord God and always had a thankful heart for Him. She was not scared to die.

3. Loyal – she’s loyal to God, Johnny and her children.

Johnny shared about their experience from the time they found out about her illness until her last breath.

Their daughter Tannie and Shawn thanked all those present for their love, encouragement and support.

From other people’s sharing, I gathered the following information.

1. Johnny really loved his wife. He always opened doors for her (I knew about this one because I saw him do that at Canaanland Celebration). He peeled prawns for her as well.

2. There were always Johnny and Kinnie, not Johnny alone. Their marriage was a very unique one.

3. Kinnie had eight sisters. One of them passed away last year. And therefore Kinnie’s demise was another shock for her siblings.

4. Kinnie liked to cook and feed people including Ps. Philip and his wife Nancy. Kinnie always had something (cookies from Harrods, bananas, etc) for him to bring back home whenever he visited the Liews.

Kinnie’s Favourite Scripture Verse – John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Another Sad Day for Canaanland Celebration

Yesterday was another sad day for Canaanland Celebration.

Kinnie, the wife of Mr. Johnny Liew, passed away after battling with cancer.

I knew Johnny through work ten years ago. He is an Interior Designer and some of the company minor projects were introduced or given by him for us to design.

More than five years ago, my sis-in-law told me who he was after she saw him at the same restaurant where we were having lunch. But I did not walk up to his table to introduce myself. At the beginning of this year, when he and Kinnie started to attend Canaanland Celebration, I introduced myself to them.

A few weeks ago when he called re. work, I asked him about he and Kinnie since I have not seen them for a long time at Canaanland Celebration on Sunday. I thought they were overseas for summer holidays but he said that Kinnie has been sick and he has been busy running around and looking after her. He also requested me to pray for them.

Yesterday at 3.16p.m. I received a call from Monica Leong telling me that Kinnie had changed her earthly address at 4.40p.m. the day before. I was dumbfounded. :(

Kinnie's funeral will be on this Saturday 11 October 2008.

Grandfather’s Funeral

Yesterday before I woke up, I dreamt about my paternal grandfather’s funeral. That was indeed one weird dream.

Why?

1. I haven’t thought of him for a long time.

2. I was not in Sandakan during his demise.

3. The funeral was too new fashion as compared to the time of his demise.

Life is Fleeting

So far in my life I have lost the following people through death.

1. Maternal grandfather.
2. Paternal grandfather.
3. Paternal grandmother.
4. Three ex primary school mates through sickness.
5. Two school teachers.
6. Paternal aunty.
7. Maternal uncle.
8. Dad.
9. Unborn nephew.
10. Sister.
11. Maternal uncle in law.
12. Paternal uncle in law.
13. Maternal grandmother.

In the course of the last few months, my brother had lost two friends. The first one I blogged about him before – Ar. Steven Chia.

The second guy passed away last week. After he went back to work from lunch, he complained that he was not feeling well. His colleagues straight away sent him to Lahad Datu Hospital. He passed away on the same night he was admitted. He may have died from heart attack but his family would never know the real reason.

Today I was chatting with a friend LSL through MSN Messenger. She asked me whether I heard about her ex-colleague who has the same name as me. I said I did not know. LSL told me the person passed away a couple of days ago possibly from high blood pressure. The last she saw her was on 8 August 2008 at a wedding dinner. The last I spoke to her was about a fortnight ago.

As long as there if life, there would also be death. It is nothing new under the sun. But while I still have the chance, I will try my best to share the thing that is the dearest to my heart – God to other people. People may think I am a fanatic but as long as I have done my part in letting them know, whether they accept that fact is up to them.

Today I had the chance once again to share with someone I know through work. Her boss is a Christian and therefore she knows about Christianity but she told me she will only consider next year. I did not want to scare her but I shared with her that no one knows how long he or she has on this earth. It is important to make the right decision and have no regrets in the end.

Heavy Heart

Since last Sunday when I heard that Ms. Chan Wee Chu took a turn for the worst, my heart has been feeling very heavy. My heart feels even heavier until now when I received the news of her demise.

I think the reason I have been feeling this way is because of the three small children she had left behind. My heart goes out to them that they have to go through this difficult time at such a young age.

When I first heard that Ms. Chan took a turn for the worst, I did not why but I knew that she would not able to make it eventhough I did not go and see her. This was the same sort of feeling I had when grannie and dad fell sick. It is kinda amazing. I did share with some people especially concerning grannie. It is not that I did not want them to get well or that I do not have the faith for them to be completely healed but I somehow felt that they would not able to pull through and if God chose to extend their life, then all of them would really need a miracle from Him.

Death is not something people like to talk about. But as long as we are born into this world, it is a matter of time each of us will return to the dust. Some will go sooner while others later.

There are times when fatigue controls my whole being, I would question myself “What am I doing here?” It is not that I do not know the answer. Tiredness has taken over my brain cells and I cannot think properly.

As I am writing this post, I noticed the Famous Quotes displayed on my Facebook page …

"The worst thing that can happen is death, and that's not the worst thing in the world either". By James Stockdale

The coincidence is that James Stockdale during the October 1992 United States of America Vice Presidential debate started of the debate with the questions, “Who am I? Why am I here?”

As a Christian, I agree with James Stockdale’s quote but I have no idea whether he is a Christian or not. Death is only a change of our abode. And as Apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 1:21 “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain”. Why would dying be a gain? Because it is only through death we will be united with Christ. And what a glorious union that would be! I look forward to that day with great anticipation.

Sad Day for Canaanland Celebration

Today after noon time I received a sms from Sharon Lai informing that Ms. Chan Wee Chu was taken to be with the Lord. Ms. Chan had been battling cancer. She left behind a husband and three small children. May her soul rests in peace. My heart felt so heavy after reading the news.


This shot was taken on 23 December 2007 of Ms. Chan's three children Louisa, Ian and Louis with Catherine Chok (a too dark photo)

When I started attending Canaanland Celebration on Sundays at the beginning of 2007, Ms. Chan and her children had been attending before me. We did not talk much to each other but we always smiled at one another.

Thank God that Ms. Chan had been released from all the sufferings she had to endure all this while. But on the other hand, her family and we at Canaanland Celebration are going to miss her tremendously.

Her funeral will be at 9.00a.m. on Thursday 17 April 2008 at Fook Luk Siew Funeral Parlour.

Life is Short

This morning mum called and told me one of our family friend, Ar. Steven Chia Yuen Chung died after his car was hit by another car from the rear. I do not know the details but I am sure the newspapers would have something on it tomorrow.

Since I was young, my parents, Jeff and I often went to visit Steven’s family after dinner and each time we would spend a few hours in their house. Steven’s father was working at the Sandakan Airport Control Tower and there seemed to be so many topics these adults can discuss about.

Eventhough I was not close to Steven because he was studying in Singapore and subsequently in the United Kingdom, I feel quite sad after hearing the news. One of the projects he designed was the Radiant Tower and I heard he lived in the penthouse. He is in his forties and he left behind his wife who is from Hong Kong and a son. I was closer to his younger brother Ming Chung.

The last time I saw Steven and his family was during cousin Victor Chong’s open house during Chinese New Year last year.

R.I.P. grannie (15 July 1906 – 26 January 2008) (102y.o.)

Grannie went into Rafflesia Medical Centre on Saturday 5 January 2008 after 3p.m. Today at 3.23p.m., Saturday 26 January 2008, grannie breathed her last.

I am happy that she does not have to suffer anymore because it really broke my heart to see her suffered so much at her age. But at the same time I am sad because she is no longer on this earth.

The maid was still giving her some porridge to eat and water to drink. She was also waiting for the nurse to come in to turn grannie to another side when she heard that grannie breathed out one last loud breath and stopped breathing.

Grannie chose to go at a time when only the maid was with her. All through these past two weeks, there was usually at least one other person (be it her children or grandchildren) there besides the maid.

Before Aunty Brenda Funk and Aunty Linda Chew bathed her, Ps. Sim Shiu Kee came and said a prayer for grannie and the family.

Grannie looked so peaceful at last. I am sure she is rejoicing in heaven right now.

We waited for the people from the K.K. Tiong Hua Funeral Parlour (at the bottom of the Mile 5½ Tuaran Road cemetery, near the Fire Department) to come to take grannie’s corpse to the mortuary.

The funeral will be on Thursday 31 January 2008.

Thank you to everyone for your concern and prayers for grannie and our family since the start of 2008. May the Lord bless you bountifully.

9th Anniversary of Dad's Demise on 26 July 2007 (Part 2)

Aug 5, 2007, 8:28 pm

Dad was a very quiet person, but when he spoke, wisdom came out from his mouth. He loved to eat fish and veges.

He was a contractor and when I had the opportunity, I would visit the houses he built. I was truly impressed that my dad could build such beautiful houses. He had a lot of Filipino workers and he did everything himself, including the payroll. He usually left home about six a.m. and came back at six p.m. He was a very hardworking person and worked seven days a week. The only time he had holidays was during Chinese New Year.

Dad hardly beat us when we were children as compared to mum eventhough his facial expression looked angrier than mum. But when he's really angry, beware! He would beat us up until we would remember the beating for a long long time. I could not remember any toys that dad bought me but I remember he gave us money to buy whatever we wanted.

When I first came back from Australia, my first job was working in Ho & Tan, an auditing and accounting firm in Kota Kinabalu. After working there for a few months, I was transferred back to Sandakan cos there was a big timber firm that needed to be audited. During that span of time, my mum went to attend a course at Kota Tinggi in Johor. My dad went to the market almost everyday, prepared dinner for me and washed all the dishes. When I offered my help, he declined. Eventhough dad never say how much he loved me, by his actions I could feel that he loved me a lot.

9th Anniversary of Dad's Demise on 26 July 2007 (Part 1)

Aug 5, 2007, 8:27 pm

My dad died after battling with colon cancer for less than two months. When he started to have the disease, I had just resigned from my job as a computer supervisor in my uncle in law's computer centre in Tg. Malim, Perak and was intending to visit some places in West Malaysia before coming back to Kota Kinabalu. I was visiting a friend in Johor when I received the news to come back as soon as possible. Eventhough I had bought a Transmile Air ticket for a later date, I had to forgo that ticket and flew back by MAS.

Since mum was a former civil servant, dad was able to stay in First Class in QEH. One of dad's doctor was Dr. Peter Ong. Eventhough dad had an operation to remove the cancer from his colon, the cancer had spread to other parts of his body. During the time when he was staying at the First Class ward, I spent overnight with him to care of him. Before he was transferred to the Pallative Care Unit, he went back to stay at my brother's house for a while. During that time, when he slept he needed the air-conditioner to be on cos he said he felt very hot. That was something new cos for his entire life, dad had never used an air-con to sleep.

The last few days before he died, he was admitted into the Pallative Care Unit of QEH. The doctors, nurses and volunteers were very kind and patience.

Grannie visited dad at the Pallative Care Unit on the night of 25 July 2007. Dad recognised her. We had kept dad's cancer from her until that time. That night mum and I did not go home and spent overnight with dad cos doctor said he would go at anytime. I did not sleep and keep on praying for him. At exactly 6a.m. dad changed his earthly address. I cried but happy at the same time that he didn't have to suffer anymore. I called my brother to tell him the news.

On the way to the funeral parlour, I saw a rainbow appeared in the sky. That reminded me of God's promises. I felt that God was reminding me there's hope for us who believe in Him, we shall see our departed ones once again on that glorious day in the future to come. Hallelujah! After dad passed away, I could not describe the kind of feeling I was having. I knew I felt a void in my heart and unless you have been through the process of bereavement, you will not understand what I am talking about.

Jul would have been 42 today

Jul 14, 2007, 4:30 pm

Jul was my only elder sister. She would have been 42 y.o. if she's alive today.

I still miss her very much eventhough she passed away on 29 October 1999. Before her demise, she had heart problem (among other things). Her heart valve would move twice faster than a normal person. Doctor had warned not to have any more children. But she wanted to risk her life.

When she complained of being ill, we sent her to Damai Specialist Centre (DMC). At that time she was pregnant with her second child. The doctor at DMC said she was ok. But her illness persisted, so we sent her to Queen Elizabeth Hospital (QEH). Doctor found she had water in her lungs and she was admitted to the ICU. At one stage, she stopped breathing and lost the baby. She was hanging on to her dear life and needed the respirator to support her.

One day when I was visiting her alone in ICU, the doctors were talking at the back but they didn't know I was there. I heard one doctor said that he made some mistakes in administering some medicine to her. I was so shocked and didn't know what to do. I didn't have any evidence in order to sue the doctor.

Just before Jul passed away, she told us that she was flying home soon. I was so sad that I cried cos I knew that the Lord was going to take her home.

Death is a part of life but it doesn't make it easy for those loved ones who are still on this earth. Even as an adult it is so hard to accept the fact that someone close to you is passing on, let alone a child. Jul left behind her only 2 y.o. daughter Chloe at that time.

The consolation for us as Christians is that we will see each other again in the future. That is a hope we have.

Recently I asked Chloe and she said she has no recollection of her mum. I really pity her for having to grow up without a mum.

She has been staying with us since beginning of this year. I hope by staying with us, there would at least be some compensation and give her some stability in her life.